In a master stroke of forward planning I bought three Bombay Bad Boys for surgery recovery timez cos they were on offer in the shop.
My surgery’s in two months.
I ate all of them already.
I’ve had first things first amaryllis stuck in my head all day and I’ve chortled out loud like every single time I think of it.
#ongoing emotional crisis blogging lol
Went to a party where someone legit thought I was like 12 years old.
True to form, subsequently spilt Strongbow all over my legs and had to change into borrowed pyjamas and made everyone listen to Ashanti.
Had an existential crisis the following day and couldn’t breathe for like an hour. Had to watch Ella Enchanted just to feel okay again.
untapped aesthetic: surrealist jock
a varsity jacket but it has three arms and it’s melting
your football shoulder pads have grass growing out of them and they constantly hum
you shove nerds not into lockers, but into other planes of existence. your football is always singing, singing, singing. the astroturf changes colors beneath you, and whispers the name of every person you’ve ever loved.
brbnightmares your moment has arrived
I want to kiss you and hold you and make you mine
I wouldn’t last a day working in a mine. Fuck sake. Work on your opening gambit